JeniHooper

Most children have to work hard at being focused and attentive in class, it requires both willpower and determination. Clear rules and boundaries can help many to rein in their distractions, but for some the struggle is complicated by factors outside their conscious control. Punishment or isolation is not likely to help and these students become repeat offenders.

There are some schools that continue to believe that clear rules and boundaries are all that is needed to prompt students to behave. The ability to be compliant and co operative is talked about as if it is a simple expectation. However it is not that simple. Although we all have rational minds, which can be under conscious control, we also have a much larger area of the brain dedicated to keeping us safe and detecting threats. The emotional brain is not under conscious control and is there to detect threats. For many children whose lives have been difficult the emotional brain becomes highly sensitised. The stress response is easily switched on, without the child’s conscious awareness, by any potential threat. This age-old biological safety mechanism in the emotional brain needs to be nurtured and soothed to regain calm. For the emotional brain to be calmed children need a trusted adult to help them co-regulate and calm the stress response. Sending children to detention or putting them in isolation clearly does not meet these needs for support. Children need to know they belong within the school, they need to feel safe, calm and able to focus on learning.

Some schools are hitting the headlines for their tough approach. They make it sound a reasonable proposition which only unreasonable families would challenge. Their formula is this: your child comes to school willing to learn and follow the rules and we keep order by being tough on any disruption which may take teachers away from the curriculum. Like any simple formula it may be too good to be true. However many of these schools are skilful self publicists and repeating the formula gives it a credibility it does not deserve.

Let’s look first at the expectation that character and self control are easily achievable. The self-control paradox is that you can’t consciously exert your will power when the flight or fight response is switched on. You need to feel safe and be calm. You need to be relatively stress free before you can self-regulate. Children from families where poverty or illness is creating toxic long term stress will find it difficult to self-regulate. .

In families where life is tough, switching off the stress response is more difficult. If you  arrive in school already predisposed to over react then the added concern that you might break a rule or struggle to keep up with a lesson adds to the stress hidden stresses. A stressed child is more likely to experience the flight or fight reaction once stress reaches a certain level. Once this happens the emotional brain takes over and the cool self talk needed to persuade yourself to make a good decision will elude you.

This can make the school environment feel hostile and threatening if you find the expectations of learning and behaviour hard to meet. Trust and strong nurturing relationships are essential to build a sense of safety and reduce threat. Any withdrawal from classes needs to offer a solution focused approach which identifies personalised strategies to help a student succeed.

Where a school’s discipline strategy is narrow and inflexible offering only time out of lessons it is more likely to escalate alienation and a sense of threat.

These “tough love, no second chances” schools are operating the Matthew Effect in education: “For unto everyone that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance; but from him that hath not shall be taken away” The cumulative effect of deprivation is well known and deliberately setting out to do this is inexcusable.

Some schools believe clear rules and routines are transformational in turning previously unruly classes into safe havens for learning. We are not told about the families who leave or are encouraged to move on because they no longer feel welcome. The blame is shifted onto their shoulders and the school remains confident that they are in the right.

There is an assumption that environment change alone is sufficient to switch on children’s ability to choose to conform and to consciously control their behaviour. However compliance is more likely happen when children feel valued, accepted and made stronger by what the school offers. A child needs to believe they belong are accepted by others and to have the confidence that achievement is possible. Alienation has the opposite effect , creating a sense of failure and rejection making students feel powerless and manipulated.

It is not a simple formula to create a thriving school. Side-lining those who don’t quickly follow the rules is only a temporary solution at best. Schools have a tough job in creating a thriving community. A school’s primary role may be teaching but without considering  the welfare and wellbeing of every child this community remains fragile and vulnerable. Every child needs to feel positive and hopeful about their learning.

Where schools rely on tough discipline alone they fail to address the internal dynamic of a thriving community. Thriving communities recognise and explicitly show appreciation of each individual’s contribution. When a school has students who feel excluded or rejected then this can switch on the stress response of flight and fight creating emotional turmoil which is likely to lead to challenging behaviour. Vandalism by pupils is one signal of this alienation.

Calling on self-control alone misses vital steps in the process of developing resilience.  Schools need to offer a safe haven to those who are vulnerable and need to explore what it takes to help someone think positively both about themselves and being part of the school. When someone’s sense of self feels diminished by judgemental discussion following an incident then change is unlikely. Criticism is often heard as rejection by those who feel outsiders. A solution focused approach is more likely to lead to constructive steps that will create lasting change.

For young people who are emotionally vulnerable through adverse life circumstances the ability to switch on self control is difficult. They will need support which makes them feel valued and aware that adults are there to help not condemn them. The self-control paradox is that without the sense of acceptance and belonging it is hard to regain the calm that allows us to access the rational thought process which manages self control.

There is an increasing urge among some educators to hurry children along. This stems from a belief that children need to start early to get ahead in the global race. If an early start was an advantage, the UK would excel in any international comparisons. It does not, instead it lags behind. As a child psychologist I know that this push for earlier teaching is not informed by research evidence on child development.

Evidence is not on the side of this anxious drive to put more emphasis on reading and maths in the pre school years to get better results later in primary school. The human brain is extremely capable but needs many years to develop and mature. The underlying developmental process is invisible to us. There are 2 broad approaches adults have intuitively taken in their relationships with children under 7. Either, to assume the child is a blank state, and to take charge of the child’s experience, or to see the child as a unique person and tune into their needs and interests.

Now we have a third way, where child development research can inform and guide what we do. We know that the infant brain has more neural pathways than an adult and that experience gradually builds the brain the child needs. The unwanted neural matter is pruned away to streamline the brain’s ability to function quickly and efficiently.

The child’s learning experience needs to be multi sensory and self directed so that the child is fully focused on the experience and it can be processed. In the early years a child learns through direct hands on experience and where sensitive adults or older peers are available to support the child’s experience then the progress is enhanced. Only much later from around 7 or 8 can a child switch attention consistently for lengthy periods between their own thoughts and what an adult is teaching them.

Play is the main opportunity for learning in the early years but is often misunderstood. What is being achieved through play is not visible and well intentioned adults often feel the need to direct a child’s learning.

A child’s need for independence in learning to move and refine their coordination is clear. We can see how a child repeats and refines actions to get the result they want. We also know that the body develops slowly and creates limits on what can be learnt at a particular time. No one would attempt to teach a 2 year old to ride a 2 wheeled bike, we just know we have to wait and it will come with time. The baby taking their first steps doesn’t grow into the child playing complex sports without experience and self knowledge of what their body can do.

Play also has a major but less visible role in cognitive development, especially in the executive function skills linked to attention and self regulation. A child who attends an early years settings will get the balance of free play and adult support that they need to develop these skills. Parents also benefit from information on their child’s progress which can develop their awareness of what their child needs to thrive. However the early needs sector is under intense pressure to focus on the beginnings of maths and literacy ready for when they start school at four years old. This is unnecessary and frustrating as the evidence from the rest of the world is that starting school at 6 or 7 works well. Learning to read at 6 or 7 doesn’t create delay, by age 11 children in other parts of the world are not behind the uk.

If an early start was an advantage, the UK would excel in any international comparisons, instead it lags behind. There’s a saying “if you want things to change do something different” Instead this government is asking early years and reception classes to intensify the early start. Plans to check on the impact of teaching will include a Baseline Test when children start school to allow scrutiny of the success of each school. Now this sounds sensible to those versed in corporate performance management. Take a base line, add input, then measure. Sadly small children can’t be reliably tested like that as 4 year olds.

As a psychologist with many years experience in testing children. Let me remind you of the reasons why this will fail.

Standardisation – standardised administration is essential to ensure all children see and hear the same thing. No coaxing, no pauses, no extra instructions. A robotic and not very child friendly experience and few little ones cope with this odd experience. Especially unsettling when you are just getting to know your new teacher at the start of school. Scary when they act in a cold and unhelpful way.

Reliability – children don’t necessarily do something to order easily or consistently at the age of 4. It is highly likely that testing will be underestimate for some children.

Validity – does the test really measure what you need to know? It may look right but face validity, as it is termed, is often deceptive. Test construction is a long process with lots of practice testing needed to select the right items for the test. How good is the validity for this baseline?

Predictability – Given that the baseline won’t be repeated annually it will have to link to other tests relevant for older children. Do the results on the initial baseline link with later performance measures in maths and literacy? Test constructors need pilot tests and examination of later test results to ensure high scorers on the first test become later high achievers. There are no plans to do this.

This brings me back round to my beginning. Play has a role in child development, it is not expendable when parents and teachers think their are better ways for a child to spend their time. Childhood has a purpose and cannot be set aside or accelerated. We seem to understand physical development reasonably well because we can see the child’s skills evolving. The need to crawl and walk if impeded slows development. This is obvious and can be seen but our understanding of mental development is much more difficult to acquire from everyday experience.

Knowledge of child development is undervalued. This is evident in the link between pay and status in teaching and the age of the child. Secondary teachers have higher status than primary and early years specialists aren’t even on the same pay scale. Our colleagues in early years and primary are more aware of the importance of understanding the whole child and not just their performance with the curriculum in front of them.

We need to see a real culture shift which puts the child at the centre of the process of planning in education. We need to call upon evidence from child development to create a learning environment which is age appropriate and sensitive to any special needs.

Play and its role in child development are not soft subjects which can be side-lined as irrelevant. Play is essential for experience and practice in all areas of thinking, learning and communicating with others. We cannot afford to curtail early development as expendable. Play is practice, practice which explores each new emerging skill and consolidates it. Play allows the child freedom to learn about themselves as well as the world around them. Play drives early development without it essential skills are at risk of becoming stunted and we will get the opposite result to what the advocates of formal teaching intend.

Schools are expected to identify a lead teacher for mental health but there has been little guidance as to what the role would entail. What is needed is a helpful evaluation of what emotionally healthy relationships look like so those who aren’t front line mental health professionals can feel informed and able to be that person for the young people they live and work with. Wellbeing does not belong to experts, it is the responsibility of us all.

Getting the basics right is important. In essence we all need to belong and be valued and when things go wrong have people be concerned and supportive. Sometimes that is enough, at other times we may need more. Children need to be secure and confident to flourish. They need to believe in themselves and their ability to meet expectations. They need to have faith that the people who they live and work with have their best interests at heart. I’m talking about quiet confidence of the kind that makes you breathe easily and relax so you can get on with daily life without being plagued by uncertainty. We have a tendency to distrust confidence and assume it is pushy and overbearing but that’s not confidence it’s arrogance. For me the opposite of confidence is anxiety not arrogance.

Children are being pushed harder and are turning to comfort food, energy drinks and excitement. Stress is toxic and makes choosing a healthy lifestyle difficult. Expectations have increased enormously both for academic and social success. Fear of failure and mediocrity leave young people feeling helpless and hopeless.

We need an alternative vision and one which is focused on what young people need now, not in some misty and romantic way but in the specific day by day detail of what is  needed to grow up happy and healthy. In short, we need to set a pace which gives a child the self-confidence which comes from knowing they have the knowledge and skills for this stage of their life.

Children want to learn, but their curiosity and interests may not map exactly onto the agenda set by family or school. The wise adult works out how to engage a child and offering choices creates a sense of control which is vital for a sense of autonomy. We need to draw them in rather than imposing demands using the big stick of fear of failure. Nor should we resort to over use of rewards which sap the child’s motivation and consigns them to follow the adult trail only when something big and shiny is on offer. Here are some suggestions of what works well to build a child’s knowledge and confidence.

1. Help a child discover things they enjoy. Be detectives together to discover what they find exciting and interesting. Notice the choices a child makes and help them to do more of what works for them. What a child finds interesting may be a sign of a personal strength which needs encouraging and nurturing.

2. Leave time free every day for independence which is entirely under the child’s control. Children who regularly plan and organise their time are more confident than children who depend on adult organised activities. They are more likely to discover and develop their interests which give them a range of possible future projects. Younger or less confident children may need to start small with 5 or 10 minutes and build the time up slowly from there.

3. Praise for effort and ingenuity rather than for results. Too much preoccupation with outcomes feeds anxiety and undermines confidence. “Will I succeed next time?” Doubt is toxic whereas optimism is energising. “I can do it if I try hard” is a better basis for learning than worrying about whether you have the ability to succeed.

4. Tell a child what you think is great about them. Praise character, actions and values rather than achievements. Positive feedback about character is sustainable praise which is building a child’s self-knowledge and ability to continue to make good decisions. Young children learn about themselves slowly because it requires mature cognitive skills to analyse situations closely. Children are overly dependent on other people’s opinions which is why bullying has such an impact. Children who are regularly reminded about their personal strengths are likely to be both more confident and more resilient to negative experiences.

5. Use WWW- what went well- to discuss the highlights of the day, this reflects on the positives which can be informative and allows privacy for a child to mull over what was less successful without unasked for adult scrutiny. Make sure that someone is available should they wish to talk about the disappointments of the day but remove the pressure to offer them for forensic examination.

6. Develop a playlist of favourite things to do. Include quick and easy as well as big events to provide a menu for free half hours, sunny days out and rainy days at home. Children spend much more time than adults engaged in things they are learning and consequently struggling with, the effort required is draining and rebalancing is important. Having time to use the skills you have and to do things which are satisfying is enormously important. I meet families where the entire day is lost to travelling to and from school and extracurricular activities followed by homework and little else.

7. Capture the happy times to be revisited and enjoyed all over again. Make a scrapbook of pictures and drawings if you like to handle things or use photos on your computer. Make a treasure box with tickets, found objects and souvenirs to remind you of days out.

8. Focus on the present we don’t know what tomorrow will hold and this is particularly true of children whose development is not predictable. By staying mindful we can focus on what is needed now and appreciate life in its fullest detail. When we rush headlong into the future we are following a fantasy which can delude us and cause us to miss out on a real understanding of the child in front of us.

9. Keep the future in context there is a danger in over thinking about the future because it is often driven by fear. When we share those anxieties with children they are likely to assume we have prior knowledge and that this will happen. This is a ticking, mental health time bomb which creates the climate for anxiety and depression. The world can become a better place, it does not follow that the current concerns in our society have no solution. So why do we thoughtlessly speak out loud about our concerns. We get things off our chests at the cost of passing on a heavy burden to the next generation. We need to gain a more realistic perspective.

10. Make gratitude part of your life. A friend of mine recently returned from working in orphanages in Zimbabwe. She met children and workers who were surviving in a very harsh climate and were grateful for what they had. They were focusing on the positives and that gave them the energy and optimism to work hard to improve life as far as they were able. Gratitude plays a major role in wellbeing and is a habit that has to a large extent been lost in recent years. It is confused with complacency and acceptance which it is not. You can be grateful for what you have while working flat out for a better world. The opposite is rarely true, those who ruminate on the negatives find their energy drains away and they are less able to make useful changes.

A child who is confident that things are going well; that their family, friends and teachers support them and who is thinking optimistically is going to flourish and is in a good place to avoid a toxic childhood.

Jeni Hooper is a Psychologist and author specialising in helping children succeed. How can we solve practical problems to help children flourish.

Her book What Children need to be Happy, Confident and Successful: Step by Step Positive Psychology to Help Children Flourish is published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers